An open letter to Jon Dore

Dear Jon Dore,

I have to admit, I’m not a fan. I’ve never seen The Jon Dore Television Show, I didn’t watch Daytime or Canadian Idol. I have, however, seen numerous ads for The Jon Dore Television Show on The Comedy Network, and rather than chuckle at your antics and think to myself, "Gee, I'm going to watch that Jon Dore," I've been repulsed and have vowed to do the exact opposite. But fear not - I'm writing to help. So, instead of a long, windy diatribe, I’ve decided simply to provide a short list of terms - with which you are clearly unfamiliar - that may help you advance your career. Think of it as a crib sheet, of the sort you used to limp through high school.

Funny: causing amusement or laughter; amusing; comical
Wit: the keen perception and cleverly apt expression of those connections between ideas that awaken amusement and pleasure
Humour: 1. a comic, absurd, or incongruous quality causing amusement; 2. the faculty of perceiving what is amusing or comical
Entertainer: a person who entertains

I’m sure if you keep these four terms in mind, you’ll manage to keep your pathetic show on air - if not because of your talent than simply because The Comedy Network seems completely unable to produce any worthwhile original programming. Hurrah for CanCon.

A few parting words: stay the course! The road may be tough, but if making people laugh were easy then any tedious loser would try, and certainly even you would be able to succeed!

Yours,

John