Dear Jon Dore,
I have to admit, I’m not a fan. I’ve never seen The Jon Dore Television Show, I didn’t watch Daytime or Canadian Idol. I have, however, seen numerous ads for The Jon Dore Television Show on The Comedy Network, and rather than chuckle at your antics and think to myself, "Gee, I'm going to watch that Jon Dore," I've been repulsed and have vowed to do the exact opposite. But fear not - I'm writing to help. So, instead of a long, windy diatribe, I’ve decided simply to provide a short list of terms - with which you are clearly unfamiliar - that may help you advance your career. Think of it as a crib sheet, of the sort you used to limp through high school.
Funny: causing amusement or laughter; amusing; comical
Wit: the keen perception and cleverly apt expression of those connections between ideas that awaken amusement and pleasure
Humour: 1. a comic, absurd, or incongruous quality causing amusement; 2. the faculty of perceiving what is amusing or comical
Entertainer: a person who entertains
I’m sure if you keep these four terms in mind, you’ll manage to keep your pathetic show on air - if not because of your talent than simply because The Comedy Network seems completely unable to produce any worthwhile original programming. Hurrah for CanCon.
A few parting words: stay the course! The road may be tough, but if making people laugh were easy then any tedious loser would try, and certainly even you would be able to succeed!
Yours,
John
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Love how you critique without watching a single show. Your expertise amazes me. It's uncanny that your diatribe on the topic of comedy, and other's so called "lack thereof" comes from the viewing of a commercial.
ReplyDeleteYou, my friend, are the eptimony of ignorance. Sad how the hoards of narrow minded, uninformed, garden variety schlubs, such as yourself, feel the need to protest their spineless drivel to the masses for the sole reason of being heard. I guess if it were otherwise you would never be noticed. Good thing you weren't growing up in the 80's or else your hand written "letters to the network" would fall on deaf ears.
You're entitled to your opinion, but when you preface it with the fact that you have no knowledge of what you speak of, you basically negate the shred of integrity you so hopelessly believe you have.
Time to shake those potato chip crumbs off your belly, wash your greasy mug, and make something of your life.
You are correct, "the road may be tough, but if making people laugh were easy then any tedious loser would try"
Thanks for trying.
M.
Dear M.,
ReplyDeleteCorrect me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the point of advertising a TV show to entice people to watch it? Should not the most interesting, funny, witty, and pertinent clips of the show be used to tease the would-be viewers into being viewers? Yea, verily, they should.
It is upon this foundational principle of modern marketing that I based my criticism of Mr. Dore and his television show.
What I’m saying – and I think you missed this – is that if a comedy show seems tragically unamusing when advertised, why oh why would I ever make a point of watching it?
The plain and simple fact is that Jon Dore is a talentless hack, a bland dimwit, and a thoroughly unfunny television personality with no business calling himself an entertainer. Further proof that The Comedy Network either needs to rethink its programming choices, or rename the network. Suggestions: The Mundane Network or CanCon Mediocrity Exemplified Daily, if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.
Now, about my use of the internet. You’re right, M., millions of people like me use the internet as a medium for expression, with varying degrees of quality and success, and that, in short, is the beauty of the thing. Scintillating brilliance and banal meretriciousness coexist daily and fight for prominence, not only among the world’s bloggers, but in our news media, television programming, literature - indeed, in every human endeavour. The good and the bad are each necessary to create an understanding of the other; you’re free to decide on which side my blog falls.
It seems that you once considered adding your own musings to the internet commons, casting your voice in among the herd of “narrow minded, uninformed, garden variety schlubs,” such as myself, through your blog, The Comedy World. Sadly, the internet will have to struggle on without your illuminating voice, because you’ve decided to quit – without posting even once. And, like so many pitiful losers before you, instead of being a pleasant, albeit non-contributing, member of the community, you’ve opted instead for the cowardly and insecure route by criticizing those who have done something you’ve obviously contemplated, but clearly don’t have the fortitude for: choosing to express oneself in an open forum. As William Penn said, “The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.”
Good luck with yourself, M.; to my mind, there are few things in life more pathetic than someone who doesn’t have the self-confidence to express themselves.
In fact, I can’t think of any.
- John