An open letter to the Buchanan Group

Dear Buchanan Group,

Your "Advertising Solution" Medifacts is a callous insult. It is neither helpful nor informative, but rather a sly ad concocted by cynical marketing graduates to prey on the weak of mind, those easily duped by advertisement masquerading as information. In your own words, Medifacts is “a concept that avoids overly medical terms, yet is convincing and authoritative.” By claiming to give genuine medical advice without any legitimacy, you undermine and undervalue important medical advice given by qualified healthcare professionals.

I feel similarly about Brand Power, another of your slick advertising solutions. You present information as a disinterested third party ostensibly trying to help consumers “make an informed purchase decision.” This advertising methodology “acts as a credible report on [the] brand and empathizes with the viewer by demonstrating a genuine insight into their lives.” These ads claim to help consumers “buy better;” drop the act – what you want is people to buy, period.

With Zoot Review, you capitalize on modern society’s moronic obsession with celebrity endorsement, and package it as helpful third-party brand advice. Perhaps I’m alone, but there are few groups I trust less than celebrities when it comes to making informed, practical decisions. You describe Zoot as “candid, natural and believable,” yet these are three of the last words I would associate with celebrities, not to mention celebrity endorsement.

Call me crazy, but I like my medical advice to use medical terms; when I want helpful neighbourly advice about shopping I ask my helpful neighbour; I’m naturally distrustful of celebrities, who I find vacuous and self-obsessed, and I don’t value their advice.

Obviously this strategy of infomercial-esque advertising is effective; it is also morally bankrupt and deceitful. As your global client list suggests, you are at the fore of “third-party information-based” advertising, a considerable achievement in an industry dominated by disingenuous profit-driven bottomfeeders.

Congratulations on a job well done.

Yours,

John